The 12 Best Things About Pregnancy That No One Tells You About
There were so many expectations I had for my pregnancy that I didn’t even realize until it was happening to me.
My perception of how pregnant women feel about their bodies during and after pregnancy was predominantly negative — this was based on my experiences and what I had unknowingly absorbed through social media, research, and work. How much these experiences were permeating my view of my own pregnancy is what surprised me. It impacted my reaction to pregnancy, caused me a lot of undue distress when I was already suffering (physically from my first trimester sickness), and prolonged the time I needed to process what was happening.
Essentially, I spent my first trimester in mourning — I had finally gotten to a place where I was happy with the way I looked and, because of these permeating thoughts, I was preparing myself to say goodbye to my body that I now loved.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve always wanted to have a baby, and despite how terrible my first trimester was not once did I wish I wasn’t pregnant. But you can be grateful for your baby while also experiencing shock and needing time to process the major changes that are happening in your life. This processing period for me just happened to be in a foreign country with my wedding only 4 weeks away. I was lonely, I was experiencing excessive pressure to feel and look a certain way for my wedding, and I had no one to talk to.
I wasn’t just mourning my body, I was also saying goodbye to me. I didn’t feel there would be anything left of me after the baby arrived, and yet I still had so much I wanted to do and accomplish. This was a really sad way of viewing my pregnancy.
During that time, I wish I had something more positive to focus on for the future of my debut into motherhood. There are so many beautiful things about pregnancy that aren’t talked about enough and there are so many things I was worried about are just simply not true. Knowing these things would have saved me a lot of grief and help me through a tough first trimester. Here are the 12 best things about pregnancy every first time mom should know:
Your relationship with your body will change and develop in the most beautiful way
If you’re like me and you’ve had a tumultuous journey to self-love, pregnancy may actually have the opposite effect on your relationship with your body than what you thought. I was under the impression that I would immediately start gaining weight everywhere — this is not the case. You likely won’t notice any visible signs of being pregnant until after week 12, and you can probably hide your pregnancy with a big sweater up until week 25-30. This varies for everyone, depending on your starting weight, what your level of fitness was before your pregnancy, and what your exercise and eating habits have been like during pregnancy. But if you eat well and exercise regularly, most of your weight gain will be in fluid volume, breast tissue, placenta, uterine tissue, and baby. You may even lose weight during the first trimester from being sick (I lost 7lbs but gained it back and more during my second trimester). I have my days when I feel down and I can’t stand how out-of-control my boobs are — the tipping point is usually me not fitting into one of my favourite sports bras — but those days are few and far between and I have really come to love my curves and round belly. You also gain a new appreciation for how incredible your body is when you see that first ultrasound and see the tiny human you are growing.
2. Everyone loves a baby bump
To reiterate my previous point, there is something so beautiful about that little bump — photo-ops and selfies become even more fun, now you have bumpdates and you get to track your growth week-by-week. Not only is this exciting for you, but it’s exciting for your friends and family who are seeing you change each week. Bump comments aren’t always warranted, but your friends and family LOVE that bump and just know that they probably mean well with their unfiltered “compliments”.
3. You no longer have to worry about looking bloated, even if you are.
It goes without saying, eat the pasta. No one will notice. You can also sleep peacefully knowing that your body is burning a little extra calories at rest, so you don’t have to ride the guilt train every time you indulge.
4. Carbs are necessary
I learned this the hard way. I was on a low-carb diet for a long time leading up to my wedding but when I became pregnant my body just wasn’t having this. After suffering several hypoglycaemic episodes, I realized that I needed more carbs if I wanted to keep going on long walks and recover properly from exercise. I had to carry around snacks with me wherever I went. I kept apples and biscotti on my bedside table and I even sometimes took bread rolls from the restaurants we’d go to if we were going to be out for a while. Now I’ve learned how to incorporate healthy carbs with each of my meals and I can enjoy them without any guilt. Justin makes me pasta limone at least once a week, among other enjoyable meals involving soba noodles, sweet potato, rice, oats, bread, and lots of fruit (especially watermelon). I feel even better than I did when I was eating low-carb!
5. You will have so many exciting events to plan and moments to look forward to
Gender reveals, baby showers, babymoons — I have to admit I was less than enthusiastic about planning more events after 4 years of wedding planning, and I felt a little bit self-indulgent about having so many events in one year, but I realized that these are beautiful reasons to celebrate that shouldn’t be wasted. I don’t want to look back in 10 years and wish that I had celebrated these moments more. My favourite moments so far have been building my registry (overwhelming but fun as a FTM) and attending ultrasounds with Justin.
6. You get to wear crocs without judgement
Since getting pregnant, I willingly wear my crocs everywhere. They have become my number one choice of footwear and I suspect my love for them will only grow stronger with a newborn. They slip on, they are comfortable, they are supportive, they help prevent back pain, they are breathable in the Summer, and you can walk forever in them without getting blisters. You can even wear them with socks if it’s a little chilly out. I’m a fan.
7. Not drinking becomes socially acceptable (and encouraged)
At first, watching all my friends who had traveled to Europe for my wedding actually enjoy their time — exploring new cities, going to beach parties, trying new restaurants, drinking delicious cocktails — made me so upset. I had major FOMO leading up to my own wedding. Part of me felt like I wasn’t even there. During our honeymoon, I spent most of it sick in bed instead of exploring the Tuscan countryside and drinking Italian wine. Slowly, after I returned home and settled into my routine again, I started to think about social drinking less and less. By my second trimester, I felt as though I had detoxed my body from any lingering effects of alcohol and my mind felt so clear. No hangovers, no brain fog, no lost days, no empty calories. I found myself actually happy that I didn’t have to drink, and I didn’t have to explain to anyone why I wasn’t drinking. It became easier for me to establish a healthy wellness and fitness routine because I had greater consistency with how I felt when I woke up in the morning. Currently, I’m wondering if I will ever go back to drinking alcohol regularly after the baby now that I’ve experienced how much clarity I have without it. Plus, I hear hangovers with a newborn are not for everyone.
8. You have an excuse for just about everything
Most of the time, pregnancy excuses are legitimate. Being pregnant makes life harder in a lot of ways, from tying your shoes to picking a cute outfit that actually fits you. Not feeling up to a dinner with your friends on Friday night? You have an excuse. Need to yawn in the middle of a conversation? You’re tired, you’re growing a human! And you won’t be judged for leaving an event early either. You will find yourself prioritizing your sleep and it’s not a bad thing!
9. Everyone around you becomes more supportive and your true friendships will grow
Since getting pregnant, my husband has offered to cook almost every night. My friends offer to come to my house for girl’s nights so I don’t have to make any trips downtown. My parents and in-laws are so excited about the baby and they understand when I need to go to bed early or if I’m not up to participating in family events. I have to say, having this level of love and understanding from everyone around me is so nice. Since a lot of my friends are either still single or haven’t had kids yet, I was afraid that I would be left out from all the social events or that we wouldn’t have anything in common anymore. Instead, our girl-time has evolved into more brunch and walks and coffee dates and I enjoy hearing about all the drama in their lives as I wolf down French toast.
10. Your work will develop and evolve with you
During my first trimester, I spent a lot of time focusing on my lack of career success up until that point. Looking back, I don’t blame myself for feeling this way — I wasn’t even capable of walking across the kitchen without getting dizzy or nauseous, let alone do a workout or look at a screen. Yes, you may miss out on some career growth during your mat leave and your pregnancy, but if you love what you do and feel fulfilled by your work then your work will continue to grow with you. I can’t predict every scenario here, but trust in yourself that you will make the right decision for you. Remember, being a mom is more than a full-time job and deserves just as much credit.
11. You are going to experience the gift of being a mother
You’re going to be a mama! Potentially for the first, second, or fifth time, but no matter how many times you have experienced it, every baby is a gift. From the first small kicks inside my belly, the very beginnings of our relationship, I felt an overwhelming sense of love for the bond that I now share with this tiny human.
12. You are not going to lose yourself
Pregnancy isn’t the end of the life you once knew, no matter how many times people will tell you that. You don’t have to lose yourself in the process. You can use this experience to evolve and become an even better version of yourself. Continue to prioritize yourself and your needs and give yourself the love and care you deserve so that you can be the best mom, friend, sister, daughter, and partner to those you love.
Everyone’s experience of pregnancy is going to be different. You may really miss having a glass of wine with dinner, you may not love the way your body looks, and, let’s face it, you may think crocs are just plain ugly.
It goes without saying that there are so many challenging aspects of pregnancy — the crying spells, the morning-noon-and-night sickness, the indigestion, and the constant fatigue. Taking moments to process all the difficult parts is just as important as taking the time to appreciate all the good parts. I’m a strong proponent of feeling your feels, the good and the bad. But offering yourself a different perspective on occasion can get you through some incredibly tough moments of your pregnancy, and you may find yourself enjoying it a little more than you expected.
10 Tips to Improve Your Energy Levels During Pregnancy
Fatigue during pregnancy is another level of tired. During my first trimester, it felt like I was sedated. I couldn’t function if I didn’t close my eyes and sleep for hours during the day — mind you, I didn’t have any toddlers running around to take care of, which would only make it that much more exhausting.
I’m sure you know how important sleep is during pregnancy, not just for you but also for your baby. However, there are many factors that interfere with a good night’s sleep when you’re pregnant — insomnia, discomfort in the low back, hips, and/or pelvis, restlessness, and poor digestion to name a few.
Here are my top suggestions for managing extreme tiredness and fatigue during pregnancy and improving your energy levels:
Take naps: naps are essential for your body’s recovery and the baby’s growth and you don’t have to nap for very long to reap the benefits — 30-45 minutes is the perfect amount of time to rest during the day and give you that boost of energy without making you feel even more tired when you wake up.
Optimize your sleep posture: to prevent hip and pelvic pain, try placing a pillow between your legs when sleeping on your side, and you can also place a pillow behind your back to offer you some comfort and prevent you from rolling over. Also, make sure your neck pillow is designed for side-sleeping. You may have to switch this up now that you’re expecting! As a side-sleeper myself, I use the Casper original pillow and I love it.
Reset your biological clock: try going to bed and waking up at the same time every day. You will need to do this consistently for at least 14 days to make it a habit. It’s also helpful to have complete darkness when sleeping as it will allow you to fall into REM sleep — that special time that allows your brain to recover from the day. You can also try wearing a sleeping mask to block out any light. I personally love the Slip silk sleep masks.
Improve your digestion: eat smaller meals and snacks throughout the day to avoid overwhelming your system and stick to whole foods instead of highly-processed foods and refined sugars that can cause digestive discomfort at night and blood sugar crashes during the day. One supplement that has helped my digestion during pregnancy is Magnesium citrate. I take one tbsp of Cal Mag at night as recommended by my Naturopath. If you are thinking about trying supplements, I recommend visiting your Naturopath for a prescription that won’t interfere with your current prenatal vitamins and any medications you are taking!
Get your iron levels checked: I’ve struggled with anemia for a long time and it’s only gotten worse during pregnancy. With my red blood cell count and hemoglobin levels at all-time lows, I’ve been feeling extra sleepy, dizzy, and faint. I was previously taking FeraMAX 150mg every day, but it made my morning sickness and constipation so much worse during my first trimester. I have since switched to Ferosom Forte 20mg and I haven’t been experiencing any of the negative side effects. I’m also taking 3 capsules of NFH Prenatal Sap containing 30mg of iron total. I try to take my iron at lunchtime and prenatals at night to decrease the risk of these side effects. If you’re not sure about whether your iron levels are low, see your provider for a blood test and ask them for recommendations on iron supplements if you are struggling with iron-deficiency during pregnancy.
Exercise regularly: exercise does wonders for your body that you can’t always see or measure. Not only does it help to improve your quality of sleep, which gives you more energy and makes you feel less tired during the day, but also helps to prevent low back, hip, and pelvic pain which can make it difficult to sleep at night. I recommend working out for 20-30 minutes at least 3x per week — this can be any type of movement you enjoy — and walking for 30 minutes at least 5x/week. Click here to learn about my Preparing for Birth live and on-demand prenatal fitness program with specialized classes designed to suit every week of your pregnancy (added bonus, all of my classes are safe for your core and pelvic floor!).
Minimize your caffeine intake: this one seems obvious because we need to limit our caffeine intake during pregnancy anyway, but aside from affecting the baby, caffeine can disrupt your sleep-wake cycle, worsen your insomnia, and keep you awake at night making you more tired the next day. Your energy levels may not be affected right away, but they can slowly deteriorate with prolonged and excessive use of caffeine. Try going a week without coffee and see how you feel! You can also try switching to decaf in the afternoon and reducing your overall intake while still enjoying that morning cup.
Manage your stress levels: stress negatively impacts your digestion and sleep, but it also contributes to burnout, muscle tension, and mental exhaustion over time. Try building a relaxing nighttime routine: take a warm bath, stay away from your phone at least an hour before bed, lather yourself in a pregnancy-safe body oil (I love this one from Evereden), and listen to a 10-minute sleep meditation before drifting off to sleep. You can also try booking a prenatal massage or acupuncture appointment to help alleviate any pain that is worsening your stress and keeping you awake at night.
Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate: dehydration can make you very tired. Keep a water bottle close by and track your water intake (aim for 2 litres/day). If you’re awful at tracking your water intake like me, this bottle from Bink is designed for mamas and makes it easy to stay on top of your necessary water intake (this is also a great gift to go on your registry!). Remember that herbal teas and electrolyte mixes also contribute to your water intake, so you can try switching it up if water is making you nauseous.
Nutrition: adequate energy and nutrient intake is essential for your baby’s development, to fuel your exercise and recovery, and to give you the energy to meet the day’s demands. If you struggle with nutrition and find yourself reaching for processed, easy-to-access snacks a little too frequently, it’s time to reassess your food intake and start nourishing your body with whole foods to help improve your energy levels, sleep, mental wellbeing, and so much more. For prenatal nutrition coaching and workshops, I recommend Certified Nutritionists Carly and Laila from @ebbandflownutrition.
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